Top 9 Things to Do in My Room When You Don't Want to Go Outside and Meet People Your Parents Have Brought Over
Praise the Lord (or Lords, depending on your faith), it's another silly Top 9! A part of me is scared of doing another one of these. After all, how am I going to top my last one? But worry not, I have lots more crazy stuff coming up. And here's one of those crazy stuff...s.
So as some people know, I'm currently at my childhood home in Gothenburg, due to reasons of laziness (haven't managed to get my arse back to Örebro yet). And as all people who have at some point lived with their parents (I am going to assume that means most of you) can attest to, there's the "annoying guest" syndrome. You know, when your parents bring home some really annoying people who you just don't want to meet. And today, this occured as well. So in order to avoid meeting them I have been forced to stay in my room, like a secluded beast afraid of sunlight, for a few hours now. Some breakfast would be nice... but instead of food, I am posting this!
So without any more babbling, I present to you...
TOP 9 THINGS TO DO IN MY ROOM WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AND MEET PEOPLE YOUR PARENTS HAVE BROUGHT OVER
(or T9TTDIMRWYDWTGAMYPHBO for short).
Oh and why top 9? Because I am a goddamn underachiever!
---
#9
Study for an exam which I, in fact, should have started working with 2 weeks ago
Haha! Good one. NEXT!
---
#8
Question the true meaning of old Chinese poster that an ex-girlfriend gave me
She always said that it spells out my name, but let's be honest, the Chinese dude could have been an ass. The poster might say "Lover of Horse Penis" for all I know. And yes, thoughts like that keep me awake all night. Or all morning in this case.
---
#7
Watch nostalgic anime VHS tapes from back in the day when only me and a handful more even knew what anime was
Yes, those were good days. What fascinated me the most as a kid is probably all the nudity that appeared in these films. I didn't really associate "boobs" with "animated stuff" back then. Oh Chun-Li, you and your rack. That shower scene of yours. Thank you so, so, soooo, much... ~~~~~ (those symbols are supposed to be drool).
---
#6
Take a look at impressive collection of albums (which would have been more impressive if I had never started playing music and subsequently spent all my cash on drums instead)
Got some cool stuff in there actually. Not like you can see it from that distance. I'll just pick out a gem for ya!
My mate's dad's obscure Swedish dance band! Oh, what a joy to own this record. Cheers to you Maxie for having such a badass father. Ultimate party single!
---
#5
Play acoustic guitar while looking sexily in the mirror, pretending there's a tone deaf female there
Well tone deaf might be a bit harsh, I can actually play this thing a bit! Not nearly as good as drums & piano, of course, but still! Only downside is that it would alert the DEMONS OUTSIDE to my presence in the room. So it's out of the question, unfortunately.
---
#4
Removing remains of last weekend's highly nutritious gamer food
"BUT IT'S SO RED AND PRETTY!". In other words: Can't be arsed. I might get a craving for... candy wrappers... later.
---
#3
Question the fact that I seem to have a complete collection of Donald Duck Pocket books except for one volume in every character's face
Jesus Christ, look at this mess. Donald, Mickey! Scrooooge! GOOFY! They all look like retards. Or maybe like they're being slowly mutilated in a grinder. Horrible, horrible, thoughts! Damn my youth's inability to maintain perfect collections. It will stalk me to my death.
---
#2
Ponder my roots
I am, in fact, half "samish". It sounds a bit like "amish", but that's not really the truth. Well, there are some similarities. Think of the "sames" as kind of a Nordic version of the Native Indians. They live in small secluded areas of Sweden, Norway, Finland and I think Iceland too. They have their own language and set of religious beliefs, and since my father is one, that makes me half. And this stone thingy, as well as the wooden pipe you see behind it, are affiliated to this people. Some days I will stare at this disturbingly ugly rock thingy (who I have named "Rockella"), and question my heritage. Deep, deep days.
Also, returning to the wooden thing. It's sort of a horn, and it's called a "jojk". You blow it, and it produces a sound that reminds me a bit of a didgeridoo, but a lot lower in "boomness". Yes, I do love my quotation marks. Some day I will record a video of me in samish clothes, attempting to play that thing. Or wait, no, I won't.
---
#1
Order remains of yesterday's tasty rice dish in systematic order
This gets the #1 position because, sadly, that's what I did most of the time before writing this blog. As you can see, most of the rice is close to the fork's end. IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE! It took hard work. But as visible from the photo, I have a long way to go. The day is still young...
---
I hope you enjoyed this list, dear readers, and be sure to keep following me as well as spreading the word! Response has been great so far, and I have already noticed that a bunch of you are coming back for more, and that makes me very happy!
More crazy stuff, Swedish bitterness, and also AN AWESOME DESIGN, coming up... soon. Soon.
Love.
/A
So as some people know, I'm currently at my childhood home in Gothenburg, due to reasons of laziness (haven't managed to get my arse back to Örebro yet). And as all people who have at some point lived with their parents (I am going to assume that means most of you) can attest to, there's the "annoying guest" syndrome. You know, when your parents bring home some really annoying people who you just don't want to meet. And today, this occured as well. So in order to avoid meeting them I have been forced to stay in my room, like a secluded beast afraid of sunlight, for a few hours now. Some breakfast would be nice... but instead of food, I am posting this!
So without any more babbling, I present to you...
TOP 9 THINGS TO DO IN MY ROOM WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AND MEET PEOPLE YOUR PARENTS HAVE BROUGHT OVER
(or T9TTDIMRWYDWTGAMYPHBO for short).
Oh and why top 9? Because I am a goddamn underachiever!
---
#9
Study for an exam which I, in fact, should have started working with 2 weeks ago
Haha! Good one. NEXT!
---
#8
Question the true meaning of old Chinese poster that an ex-girlfriend gave me
She always said that it spells out my name, but let's be honest, the Chinese dude could have been an ass. The poster might say "Lover of Horse Penis" for all I know. And yes, thoughts like that keep me awake all night. Or all morning in this case.
---
#7
Watch nostalgic anime VHS tapes from back in the day when only me and a handful more even knew what anime was
Yes, those were good days. What fascinated me the most as a kid is probably all the nudity that appeared in these films. I didn't really associate "boobs" with "animated stuff" back then. Oh Chun-Li, you and your rack. That shower scene of yours. Thank you so, so, soooo, much... ~~~~~ (those symbols are supposed to be drool).
---
#6
Take a look at impressive collection of albums (which would have been more impressive if I had never started playing music and subsequently spent all my cash on drums instead)
Got some cool stuff in there actually. Not like you can see it from that distance. I'll just pick out a gem for ya!
My mate's dad's obscure Swedish dance band! Oh, what a joy to own this record. Cheers to you Maxie for having such a badass father. Ultimate party single!
---
#5
Play acoustic guitar while looking sexily in the mirror, pretending there's a tone deaf female there
Well tone deaf might be a bit harsh, I can actually play this thing a bit! Not nearly as good as drums & piano, of course, but still! Only downside is that it would alert the DEMONS OUTSIDE to my presence in the room. So it's out of the question, unfortunately.
---
#4
Removing remains of last weekend's highly nutritious gamer food
"BUT IT'S SO RED AND PRETTY!". In other words: Can't be arsed. I might get a craving for... candy wrappers... later.
---
#3
Question the fact that I seem to have a complete collection of Donald Duck Pocket books except for one volume in every character's face
Jesus Christ, look at this mess. Donald, Mickey! Scrooooge! GOOFY! They all look like retards. Or maybe like they're being slowly mutilated in a grinder. Horrible, horrible, thoughts! Damn my youth's inability to maintain perfect collections. It will stalk me to my death.
---
#2
Ponder my roots
I am, in fact, half "samish". It sounds a bit like "amish", but that's not really the truth. Well, there are some similarities. Think of the "sames" as kind of a Nordic version of the Native Indians. They live in small secluded areas of Sweden, Norway, Finland and I think Iceland too. They have their own language and set of religious beliefs, and since my father is one, that makes me half. And this stone thingy, as well as the wooden pipe you see behind it, are affiliated to this people. Some days I will stare at this disturbingly ugly rock thingy (who I have named "Rockella"), and question my heritage. Deep, deep days.
Also, returning to the wooden thing. It's sort of a horn, and it's called a "jojk". You blow it, and it produces a sound that reminds me a bit of a didgeridoo, but a lot lower in "boomness". Yes, I do love my quotation marks. Some day I will record a video of me in samish clothes, attempting to play that thing. Or wait, no, I won't.
---
#1
Order remains of yesterday's tasty rice dish in systematic order
This gets the #1 position because, sadly, that's what I did most of the time before writing this blog. As you can see, most of the rice is close to the fork's end. IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE! It took hard work. But as visible from the photo, I have a long way to go. The day is still young...
---
I hope you enjoyed this list, dear readers, and be sure to keep following me as well as spreading the word! Response has been great so far, and I have already noticed that a bunch of you are coming back for more, and that makes me very happy!
More crazy stuff, Swedish bitterness, and also AN AWESOME DESIGN, coming up... soon. Soon.
Love.
/A
Top 9 Female WW2 Snipers
Okay, okay, let me explain.
First off, I've always loved Top 10's. Or 100's. Or whatever number you want to use. There's something about them that appeals to the human mind, I believe. You know, seeing things slowly unveil...
"What's number one gonna be?! Omg he thought RACHEL was the best Friends character?! That's crazy!". You know the drill.
So I thought to myself, now that I have a blog, I must naturally create a series of incredibly awesome countdowns of my own. And what kind of things do I want to talk about? Well, females who kill stuff, apparently. To be honest, this is another thing that's always fascinated me. Females who kick ass. I mean, we all know that women ARE inherently evil (...), but their role as a documented physical force is not covered as well. So naturally I thought that what better way to kick off my own Top 9's then to simply bring you...
THE TOP 9 FEMALE WW2 SNIPERS!
Disclaimer: No, this is not in any way meant to be a reflection of my own beliefs regarding anything this list contains. I do not like war, I do not feel strongly in any way for the Soviet Union (even though Stalin had a pretty nice moustasche) and so on. War is horrible, and this is just for fun, so take a deep breath... and enjoy.
Oh and why top 9? Because I am a goddamn underachiever!
---
#9
Tatiana Nikolaevna Baramzina
Kicking off the list with one of the less known snipers of the era. She had a successful killing spree in the beginning of her career, but it was tragically cut short rather early as she was, and I quote: "shot point-blank with an anti-tank rifle". AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE! Wow. She must have annoyed the wrong... rocket launcher?
Total kills: ?
---
#8
Nina Lobkovskaya
I couldn't actually find a decent photo of her, but this is apparently her team. And well, just thinking of the fact that she was in charge of an entire platoon of women with sniper rifles... that's enough for the #8th position on this mighty fine list.
Total kills: 89
---
#7
Marie Lyalková-Lastovecká
This woman deserves a slot on the list for two reasons. First off, her last name. "Lastovecká". It sort of means "Last Week" if you combine English and Swedish. Last(o), obviously, and then "vecká", which means "week" in Swedish (minus the ´ thingy). So yeah, funny pun right there, as if you meet her on the battlefield, it would be your last week alive... ... ... oh man, that was horrible. Anyway, second reason to include her:
She is STILL ALIVE! That is so awesome. Imagine the bedtime stories she'd tell her grandchildren. No wait, don't imagine that. That's horrible. Shame on you.
Total kills: 35
---
#6
Lydiya Gudovantseva
Main reason to why I included this happy gal is that she looks a hell of a lot like my old school chef back in grade school. Somehow I found that to be extremely disturbing. And well, just look how happy she is. Wonder what she's thinking about. Half-eaten meatballs?
Total kills: 76
---
#5
Aliya Muldagulova
Oh man, what a concentrated lady. Almost looks like a promotional photo for a one-man female death metal band. No wait, it doesn't. What am I talking about?
Total kills: 91
---
#4
Nina Pavlovna Petrova
Oh my, now we're talking. THIS is the face of a female killer. Look at her! So extremely cold. Those eyes scare me. Just by looking at her hilariously dated hair makes you feel that this lady, this coooold lady, has seen it all. She's seen death, and she's... been... death, too. Totally scary. Scary, scary, scary. Also, she kinda looks like one of my old teachers. Is that some sort of recurring theme here? Old scary teachers = Old scary snipers? Ladies are scary. I like that word. Scary.
Total kills: 107
---
#3
Natalya Benediktova Kovshova & Maria Polivanova
Giving these two a shared slot since they were, in fact, a team. And I mean, come on. If there's anything even more frightening than a solitary female sniper, that thing must be TWO solitary female snipers. Covering each others' backs, shooting stuff, sharing a drink... keeping each other warm in the snow... ... talking about the concept of love on the battlefield... resting in the same sleeping bag...
Alright, I'm gonna abort this soviet sniper killing machine lesbian innuendo before I really cross some lines for real. Or will I? Heh, heh.
Total kills: 300 combined
---
#2
Lyudmila Michaylovna Pavlichenko
This one-woman massacre of a human being was known as "The Hero of the Soviet Union". Doesn't that sound like a title for a grand action movie? "Lyuidmila, Hero of the Soviet Union". I'd see it. Also, for her admirable work within the field of... murder... ... she was actually awarded the following accolade:
She has her own stamp! Isn't that lovely, ladies and gentlemen! Kill people today and get YOUR face on a stamp. What better way to make mail travel faster than to attach the cold stare of a female serial killer on it? Oh, do we not just love... people?
Total kills: 309 (holy SHIT)
---
#1
Roza Yegorovna Shanina
So why does lovely, lovely Roza get the #1st position? Well, lovely is the key word here. Look at her! She is WAY too pretty to be a female killer. Sniper. Thingy. Look at her! I'd let her snipe my skull any day of the week. So what, she may not have as big a status as Lyudmila, or even half the kills, but LOOK at her! It's like a fairy tale.
---
Roza was only 10 years old... and dreamt... of horses. And vodka. One day, everything changed.
Roza's Dad: My daughter, you must cease your dreaming of horses... and vodka... and instead follow your true calling.
Roza: Daaaa?
Roza's Dad: Here's a sniper rifle, kill stuff!
Roza: Daaaa!
---
I can totally picture that with some booming trailer voice (not Don LaFontaine's unfortunately, since he's dead... which blows, hard).
So... yeah. Oh what the hell, another Roza photo!
I don't think it's particularly normal to drool over long-dead female killing machines, but then again, maybe that's the kind of women I'm attracted to? That's an entry for another day.
Total kills: 54 (but we still love you)
---
So there you go, the first of Andie's many upcoming Top 9's. I hope you enjoyed it, and to all my Swedish readers: det kommer mer bittert tjat om verklighetens plågor snart, och jag hoppas ni ändå finner något nöje i såna här inlägg trots att det är på det avancerade engelska språket. Eheee.
Peace, love, and femme fatales,
/A
Big thanks to this video, it really helped in compiling the list.
First off, I've always loved Top 10's. Or 100's. Or whatever number you want to use. There's something about them that appeals to the human mind, I believe. You know, seeing things slowly unveil...
"What's number one gonna be?! Omg he thought RACHEL was the best Friends character?! That's crazy!". You know the drill.
So I thought to myself, now that I have a blog, I must naturally create a series of incredibly awesome countdowns of my own. And what kind of things do I want to talk about? Well, females who kill stuff, apparently. To be honest, this is another thing that's always fascinated me. Females who kick ass. I mean, we all know that women ARE inherently evil (...), but their role as a documented physical force is not covered as well. So naturally I thought that what better way to kick off my own Top 9's then to simply bring you...
THE TOP 9 FEMALE WW2 SNIPERS!
Disclaimer: No, this is not in any way meant to be a reflection of my own beliefs regarding anything this list contains. I do not like war, I do not feel strongly in any way for the Soviet Union (even though Stalin had a pretty nice moustasche) and so on. War is horrible, and this is just for fun, so take a deep breath... and enjoy.
Oh and why top 9? Because I am a goddamn underachiever!
---
#9
Tatiana Nikolaevna Baramzina
Kicking off the list with one of the less known snipers of the era. She had a successful killing spree in the beginning of her career, but it was tragically cut short rather early as she was, and I quote: "shot point-blank with an anti-tank rifle". AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE! Wow. She must have annoyed the wrong... rocket launcher?
Total kills: ?
---
#8
Nina Lobkovskaya
I couldn't actually find a decent photo of her, but this is apparently her team. And well, just thinking of the fact that she was in charge of an entire platoon of women with sniper rifles... that's enough for the #8th position on this mighty fine list.
Total kills: 89
---
#7
Marie Lyalková-Lastovecká
This woman deserves a slot on the list for two reasons. First off, her last name. "Lastovecká". It sort of means "Last Week" if you combine English and Swedish. Last(o), obviously, and then "vecká", which means "week" in Swedish (minus the ´ thingy). So yeah, funny pun right there, as if you meet her on the battlefield, it would be your last week alive... ... ... oh man, that was horrible. Anyway, second reason to include her:
She is STILL ALIVE! That is so awesome. Imagine the bedtime stories she'd tell her grandchildren. No wait, don't imagine that. That's horrible. Shame on you.
Total kills: 35
---
#6
Lydiya Gudovantseva
Main reason to why I included this happy gal is that she looks a hell of a lot like my old school chef back in grade school. Somehow I found that to be extremely disturbing. And well, just look how happy she is. Wonder what she's thinking about. Half-eaten meatballs?
Total kills: 76
---
#5
Aliya Muldagulova
Oh man, what a concentrated lady. Almost looks like a promotional photo for a one-man female death metal band. No wait, it doesn't. What am I talking about?
Total kills: 91
---
#4
Nina Pavlovna Petrova
Oh my, now we're talking. THIS is the face of a female killer. Look at her! So extremely cold. Those eyes scare me. Just by looking at her hilariously dated hair makes you feel that this lady, this coooold lady, has seen it all. She's seen death, and she's... been... death, too. Totally scary. Scary, scary, scary. Also, she kinda looks like one of my old teachers. Is that some sort of recurring theme here? Old scary teachers = Old scary snipers? Ladies are scary. I like that word. Scary.
Total kills: 107
---
#3
Natalya Benediktova Kovshova & Maria Polivanova
Giving these two a shared slot since they were, in fact, a team. And I mean, come on. If there's anything even more frightening than a solitary female sniper, that thing must be TWO solitary female snipers. Covering each others' backs, shooting stuff, sharing a drink... keeping each other warm in the snow... ... talking about the concept of love on the battlefield... resting in the same sleeping bag...
Alright, I'm gonna abort this soviet sniper killing machine lesbian innuendo before I really cross some lines for real. Or will I? Heh, heh.
Total kills: 300 combined
---
#2
Lyudmila Michaylovna Pavlichenko
This one-woman massacre of a human being was known as "The Hero of the Soviet Union". Doesn't that sound like a title for a grand action movie? "Lyuidmila, Hero of the Soviet Union". I'd see it. Also, for her admirable work within the field of... murder... ... she was actually awarded the following accolade:
She has her own stamp! Isn't that lovely, ladies and gentlemen! Kill people today and get YOUR face on a stamp. What better way to make mail travel faster than to attach the cold stare of a female serial killer on it? Oh, do we not just love... people?
Total kills: 309 (holy SHIT)
---
#1
Roza Yegorovna Shanina
So why does lovely, lovely Roza get the #1st position? Well, lovely is the key word here. Look at her! She is WAY too pretty to be a female killer. Sniper. Thingy. Look at her! I'd let her snipe my skull any day of the week. So what, she may not have as big a status as Lyudmila, or even half the kills, but LOOK at her! It's like a fairy tale.
---
Roza was only 10 years old... and dreamt... of horses. And vodka. One day, everything changed.
Roza's Dad: My daughter, you must cease your dreaming of horses... and vodka... and instead follow your true calling.
Roza: Daaaa?
Roza's Dad: Here's a sniper rifle, kill stuff!
Roza: Daaaa!
---
I can totally picture that with some booming trailer voice (not Don LaFontaine's unfortunately, since he's dead... which blows, hard).
So... yeah. Oh what the hell, another Roza photo!
I don't think it's particularly normal to drool over long-dead female killing machines, but then again, maybe that's the kind of women I'm attracted to? That's an entry for another day.
Total kills: 54 (but we still love you)
---
So there you go, the first of Andie's many upcoming Top 9's. I hope you enjoyed it, and to all my Swedish readers: det kommer mer bittert tjat om verklighetens plågor snart, och jag hoppas ni ändå finner något nöje i såna här inlägg trots att det är på det avancerade engelska språket. Eheee.
Peace, love, and femme fatales,
/A
Big thanks to this video, it really helped in compiling the list.
