Top 9 Female WW2 Snipers
Okay, okay, let me explain.
First off, I've always loved Top 10's. Or 100's. Or whatever number you want to use. There's something about them that appeals to the human mind, I believe. You know, seeing things slowly unveil...
"What's number one gonna be?! Omg he thought RACHEL was the best Friends character?! That's crazy!". You know the drill.
So I thought to myself, now that I have a blog, I must naturally create a series of incredibly awesome countdowns of my own. And what kind of things do I want to talk about? Well, females who kill stuff, apparently. To be honest, this is another thing that's always fascinated me. Females who kick ass. I mean, we all know that women ARE inherently evil (...), but their role as a documented physical force is not covered as well. So naturally I thought that what better way to kick off my own Top 9's then to simply bring you...
THE TOP 9 FEMALE WW2 SNIPERS!
Disclaimer: No, this is not in any way meant to be a reflection of my own beliefs regarding anything this list contains. I do not like war, I do not feel strongly in any way for the Soviet Union (even though Stalin had a pretty nice moustasche) and so on. War is horrible, and this is just for fun, so take a deep breath... and enjoy.
Oh and why top 9? Because I am a goddamn underachiever!
---
#9
Tatiana Nikolaevna Baramzina
Kicking off the list with one of the less known snipers of the era. She had a successful killing spree in the beginning of her career, but it was tragically cut short rather early as she was, and I quote: "shot point-blank with an anti-tank rifle". AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE! Wow. She must have annoyed the wrong... rocket launcher?
Total kills: ?
---
#8
Nina Lobkovskaya
I couldn't actually find a decent photo of her, but this is apparently her team. And well, just thinking of the fact that she was in charge of an entire platoon of women with sniper rifles... that's enough for the #8th position on this mighty fine list.
Total kills: 89
---
#7
Marie Lyalková-Lastovecká
This woman deserves a slot on the list for two reasons. First off, her last name. "Lastovecká". It sort of means "Last Week" if you combine English and Swedish. Last(o), obviously, and then "vecká", which means "week" in Swedish (minus the ´ thingy). So yeah, funny pun right there, as if you meet her on the battlefield, it would be your last week alive... ... ... oh man, that was horrible. Anyway, second reason to include her:
She is STILL ALIVE! That is so awesome. Imagine the bedtime stories she'd tell her grandchildren. No wait, don't imagine that. That's horrible. Shame on you.
Total kills: 35
---
#6
Lydiya Gudovantseva
Main reason to why I included this happy gal is that she looks a hell of a lot like my old school chef back in grade school. Somehow I found that to be extremely disturbing. And well, just look how happy she is. Wonder what she's thinking about. Half-eaten meatballs?
Total kills: 76
---
#5
Aliya Muldagulova
Oh man, what a concentrated lady. Almost looks like a promotional photo for a one-man female death metal band. No wait, it doesn't. What am I talking about?
Total kills: 91
---
#4
Nina Pavlovna Petrova
Oh my, now we're talking. THIS is the face of a female killer. Look at her! So extremely cold. Those eyes scare me. Just by looking at her hilariously dated hair makes you feel that this lady, this coooold lady, has seen it all. She's seen death, and she's... been... death, too. Totally scary. Scary, scary, scary. Also, she kinda looks like one of my old teachers. Is that some sort of recurring theme here? Old scary teachers = Old scary snipers? Ladies are scary. I like that word. Scary.
Total kills: 107
---
#3
Natalya Benediktova Kovshova & Maria Polivanova
Giving these two a shared slot since they were, in fact, a team. And I mean, come on. If there's anything even more frightening than a solitary female sniper, that thing must be TWO solitary female snipers. Covering each others' backs, shooting stuff, sharing a drink... keeping each other warm in the snow... ... talking about the concept of love on the battlefield... resting in the same sleeping bag...
Alright, I'm gonna abort this soviet sniper killing machine lesbian innuendo before I really cross some lines for real. Or will I? Heh, heh.
Total kills: 300 combined
---
#2
Lyudmila Michaylovna Pavlichenko
This one-woman massacre of a human being was known as "The Hero of the Soviet Union". Doesn't that sound like a title for a grand action movie? "Lyuidmila, Hero of the Soviet Union". I'd see it. Also, for her admirable work within the field of... murder... ... she was actually awarded the following accolade:
She has her own stamp! Isn't that lovely, ladies and gentlemen! Kill people today and get YOUR face on a stamp. What better way to make mail travel faster than to attach the cold stare of a female serial killer on it? Oh, do we not just love... people?
Total kills: 309 (holy SHIT)
---
#1
Roza Yegorovna Shanina
So why does lovely, lovely Roza get the #1st position? Well, lovely is the key word here. Look at her! She is WAY too pretty to be a female killer. Sniper. Thingy. Look at her! I'd let her snipe my skull any day of the week. So what, she may not have as big a status as Lyudmila, or even half the kills, but LOOK at her! It's like a fairy tale.
---
Roza was only 10 years old... and dreamt... of horses. And vodka. One day, everything changed.
Roza's Dad: My daughter, you must cease your dreaming of horses... and vodka... and instead follow your true calling.
Roza: Daaaa?
Roza's Dad: Here's a sniper rifle, kill stuff!
Roza: Daaaa!
---
I can totally picture that with some booming trailer voice (not Don LaFontaine's unfortunately, since he's dead... which blows, hard).
So... yeah. Oh what the hell, another Roza photo!
I don't think it's particularly normal to drool over long-dead female killing machines, but then again, maybe that's the kind of women I'm attracted to? That's an entry for another day.
Total kills: 54 (but we still love you)
---
So there you go, the first of Andie's many upcoming Top 9's. I hope you enjoyed it, and to all my Swedish readers: det kommer mer bittert tjat om verklighetens plågor snart, och jag hoppas ni ändå finner något nöje i såna här inlägg trots att det är på det avancerade engelska språket. Eheee.
Peace, love, and femme fatales,
/A
Big thanks to this video, it really helped in compiling the list.
First off, I've always loved Top 10's. Or 100's. Or whatever number you want to use. There's something about them that appeals to the human mind, I believe. You know, seeing things slowly unveil...
"What's number one gonna be?! Omg he thought RACHEL was the best Friends character?! That's crazy!". You know the drill.
So I thought to myself, now that I have a blog, I must naturally create a series of incredibly awesome countdowns of my own. And what kind of things do I want to talk about? Well, females who kill stuff, apparently. To be honest, this is another thing that's always fascinated me. Females who kick ass. I mean, we all know that women ARE inherently evil (...), but their role as a documented physical force is not covered as well. So naturally I thought that what better way to kick off my own Top 9's then to simply bring you...
THE TOP 9 FEMALE WW2 SNIPERS!
Disclaimer: No, this is not in any way meant to be a reflection of my own beliefs regarding anything this list contains. I do not like war, I do not feel strongly in any way for the Soviet Union (even though Stalin had a pretty nice moustasche) and so on. War is horrible, and this is just for fun, so take a deep breath... and enjoy.
Oh and why top 9? Because I am a goddamn underachiever!
---
#9
Tatiana Nikolaevna Baramzina
Kicking off the list with one of the less known snipers of the era. She had a successful killing spree in the beginning of her career, but it was tragically cut short rather early as she was, and I quote: "shot point-blank with an anti-tank rifle". AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE! Wow. She must have annoyed the wrong... rocket launcher?
Total kills: ?
---
#8
Nina Lobkovskaya
I couldn't actually find a decent photo of her, but this is apparently her team. And well, just thinking of the fact that she was in charge of an entire platoon of women with sniper rifles... that's enough for the #8th position on this mighty fine list.
Total kills: 89
---
#7
Marie Lyalková-Lastovecká
This woman deserves a slot on the list for two reasons. First off, her last name. "Lastovecká". It sort of means "Last Week" if you combine English and Swedish. Last(o), obviously, and then "vecká", which means "week" in Swedish (minus the ´ thingy). So yeah, funny pun right there, as if you meet her on the battlefield, it would be your last week alive... ... ... oh man, that was horrible. Anyway, second reason to include her:
She is STILL ALIVE! That is so awesome. Imagine the bedtime stories she'd tell her grandchildren. No wait, don't imagine that. That's horrible. Shame on you.
Total kills: 35
---
#6
Lydiya Gudovantseva
Main reason to why I included this happy gal is that she looks a hell of a lot like my old school chef back in grade school. Somehow I found that to be extremely disturbing. And well, just look how happy she is. Wonder what she's thinking about. Half-eaten meatballs?
Total kills: 76
---
#5
Aliya Muldagulova
Oh man, what a concentrated lady. Almost looks like a promotional photo for a one-man female death metal band. No wait, it doesn't. What am I talking about?
Total kills: 91
---
#4
Nina Pavlovna Petrova
Oh my, now we're talking. THIS is the face of a female killer. Look at her! So extremely cold. Those eyes scare me. Just by looking at her hilariously dated hair makes you feel that this lady, this coooold lady, has seen it all. She's seen death, and she's... been... death, too. Totally scary. Scary, scary, scary. Also, she kinda looks like one of my old teachers. Is that some sort of recurring theme here? Old scary teachers = Old scary snipers? Ladies are scary. I like that word. Scary.
Total kills: 107
---
#3
Natalya Benediktova Kovshova & Maria Polivanova
Giving these two a shared slot since they were, in fact, a team. And I mean, come on. If there's anything even more frightening than a solitary female sniper, that thing must be TWO solitary female snipers. Covering each others' backs, shooting stuff, sharing a drink... keeping each other warm in the snow... ... talking about the concept of love on the battlefield... resting in the same sleeping bag...
Alright, I'm gonna abort this soviet sniper killing machine lesbian innuendo before I really cross some lines for real. Or will I? Heh, heh.
Total kills: 300 combined
---
#2
Lyudmila Michaylovna Pavlichenko
This one-woman massacre of a human being was known as "The Hero of the Soviet Union". Doesn't that sound like a title for a grand action movie? "Lyuidmila, Hero of the Soviet Union". I'd see it. Also, for her admirable work within the field of... murder... ... she was actually awarded the following accolade:
She has her own stamp! Isn't that lovely, ladies and gentlemen! Kill people today and get YOUR face on a stamp. What better way to make mail travel faster than to attach the cold stare of a female serial killer on it? Oh, do we not just love... people?
Total kills: 309 (holy SHIT)
---
#1
Roza Yegorovna Shanina
So why does lovely, lovely Roza get the #1st position? Well, lovely is the key word here. Look at her! She is WAY too pretty to be a female killer. Sniper. Thingy. Look at her! I'd let her snipe my skull any day of the week. So what, she may not have as big a status as Lyudmila, or even half the kills, but LOOK at her! It's like a fairy tale.
---
Roza was only 10 years old... and dreamt... of horses. And vodka. One day, everything changed.
Roza's Dad: My daughter, you must cease your dreaming of horses... and vodka... and instead follow your true calling.
Roza: Daaaa?
Roza's Dad: Here's a sniper rifle, kill stuff!
Roza: Daaaa!
---
I can totally picture that with some booming trailer voice (not Don LaFontaine's unfortunately, since he's dead... which blows, hard).
So... yeah. Oh what the hell, another Roza photo!
I don't think it's particularly normal to drool over long-dead female killing machines, but then again, maybe that's the kind of women I'm attracted to? That's an entry for another day.
Total kills: 54 (but we still love you)
---
So there you go, the first of Andie's many upcoming Top 9's. I hope you enjoyed it, and to all my Swedish readers: det kommer mer bittert tjat om verklighetens plågor snart, och jag hoppas ni ändå finner något nöje i såna här inlägg trots att det är på det avancerade engelska språket. Eheee.
Peace, love, and femme fatales,
/A
Big thanks to this video, it really helped in compiling the list.
Kommentarer
Postat av: Henric
HAHA vilken awesome top 9! Riktigt skön blogg hittills Andie!
Postat av: The Man
Thanks Henric! Stay tuned för mera skräp i det här stuket. :D
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